Wow, it's only 2:30 AM and my night is far from over. Vlademir is being extremely uncooperative and it looks like I'll be holding down the fort for the rest of the shift. I've had my third war of the night with the copying machine and just had to tell some guy that he couldn't bring his pit bull into the hotel to which he replied "but I play football for the Carolina Panthers, Google my name." He then offered me $200 to let him check his dog in too.
Enter extreme sarcasm/bitchiness. They go hand in hand at this point.
"Oh, you play for the Panthers?? Why didn't you say so?? Well, you know what I'm going to let you do? Figure out something else to do with your dog because this is not a pet-friendly hotel. And while we're at it, your monetary offer is a giant slap in my face as you essentially would be paying me only $200 to lose my job."... that doesn't cover one month of student loans.
He ended up finding something to do with the dog and finally asked if I was Asian. It's been overdue, I suppose. I didn't even look this guy up seeing as he did not want to pay the steep $20 it costs for valet parking but was willing to empty his wallet for his dog.
The random drunk guy laying on the bench hollered over to me after our "football player" left, "Why didn't you take the money?"
In my classically corny fashion I followed with, "I play the game of my life my friend and I plan on coming out ahead." And then I disappeared around the corner. Yep, that's what I said. I'm just glad nobody as cool as myself was present to witness that.