Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I Hope Moron Ain't Contagious

You know when you're already having a bad day... and then a giant bird flies over and takes a giant bird crap right on you head during some giant crappy moments? That is how I have felt for the past two days. I can't seem to get one thing to go my way, even something as simple as keeping my keys in my hand. At one point today I dropped them 5 times in a row, I counted. What a backwards day. I would literally lose a million dollar bill right now. It would vanish in front of my face because the Universe knows that I'm going to lose it anyway.

The past 48 hours have been a whirlwind of stupidity. I mean, the kind of people that define the word "moron." I have had to cope with the fact that people are stupid enough to eat the air freshener out of the public restrooms at job #1. I understand that they may look like candy or possibly just colorful rocks, but who would eat anything coming out of a bathroom.... a PUBLIC bathroom? Wow, humans, way to embarrass humanity all together. Those Renuzit crystals better not make you crap your pants...again!

Also some side notes, I've managed to offend all the taxpayers by my mere presence. And someone managed to leave a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes behind. Seriously? We are trying to run a classy establishment, keep your shoes on! This ain't a Kenny Chesney video!

P.S. A man yelled at me tonight because his grown-ass 23 year old daughter and him are having some parent-child authority issues. She went out with some guy and had not returned by 2:30 AM. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!? Sorry your daughter is slutting it up. Enjoy grounding your TWENTY THREE YEAR OLD child.

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